


A Small Crime

by easyluckyfree45



Category: Archie Comics, Archie Comics & Related Fandoms, Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, F/M, Finding their way back to each other, Forgiveness, Future Fic, Heavy Angst, Hope, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, POV Alternating, Post-Break Up, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Season/Series 04, Rebuilding Trust, References to Depression, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Vignettes, all the feels, literally so much angst so if that's not your thing this is not for you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24798586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easyluckyfree45/pseuds/easyluckyfree45
Summary: It isn’t supposed to be like this.Betty tightens her fists, digging her nails into the palms of her hands. The sting is familiar and grounding. It doesn’t lessen the pain she’s feeling. It doesn’t make it go away. It doesn’t make him stop looking at her like she’s the worst type of human being – a heartbreaker, a cheater, a liar.His words echo in her ear.It's over. I can’t trust you anymore.My interpretation of what happens next. Post 4x19Inspired by the color Green for Color Me Riverdale.
Relationships: Alice Cooper/FP Jones II, Betty Cooper & Jughead Jones, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones, Fangs Fogarty/Kevin Keller
Comments: 121
Kudos: 236
Collections: 7th Bughead Fanfiction Awards - Nominees, Color Me Riverdale





	1. Leave me out with the waste, this is not what I do

**Author's Note:**

> I first wrote a version of this story over 10 years ago for the Glee fandom. I was re-reading it and thinking about how I wanted to write something similar for Bughead since there are so many parallels. So, here is this tiny slice of angst and my interpretation of what Season 5 might bring. I have a lot of feelings about how the showrunners made cheating canon for Betty and I'm not happy about it because I, personally, think it's character assassination but I guess it is what it is.
> 
> I know the dates in the story overlap with the pandemic but let's just pretend Covid doesn't exist in the Riverdale world. Also, I know that S5 is supposed to be set 5 years later so I'm taking some creative liberties here. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are everything and keep me writing!

_It’s the wrong kind of place to be cheating on you_  
_It’s the wrong time_  
_It’s a small crime and I’ve got no excuse_  
_Is that alright with you?_  
_No_

_“9 Crimes” by Damien Rice_

**Chapter 1: Leave me out with the waste, this is not what I do**

**_May 6, 2020_ **

It isn’t supposed to be like this. 

Betty tightens her fists, digging her nails into the palms of her hands. The sting is familiar and grounding. It doesn’t lessen the pain she’s feeling. It doesn’t make it go away. It doesn’t make him stop looking at her like she’s the worst type of human being – a heartbreaker, a cheater, a liar.

Jughead stares at her in disbelief and she wants nothing more than to go to him, wrap her arms around him, and repeatedly whisper into his ear that it all meant nothing. Kissing Archie meant nothing. Holding Archie’s hand and lying next to him in the cot in the underground bunker meant nothing. It was temporary insanity.

Betty Cooper loves Jughead Jones not Archie Andrews.

The hurt is evident in his eyes and as he walks away from her all she can do is sink down to the floor as her knees give out. All she can do is stare listlessly out the front door that is sprung wide open and watch silently as he walks out of the house and towards his motorcycle.

His words echo in her ear. _It's over. I can’t trust you anymore._

What has she done? She’s ruined everything. 

A minute, an hour, 2 hours later – she doesn’t know. She picks herself off the ground and walks up the stairs, her steps heavy against the creaking wood, and hides herself in her room. She wipes the tears out of her eyes and looks up, staring at the picture of them from Homecoming hanging on her mirror. The ground beneath her is hard but she wills it to soften and sink into her so she can disappear from this reality.

It was never supposed to be like this.

**_June 4, 2020_ **

Betty keeps looking over her shoulder as she listens to the graduation speaker give their speech. Jughead’s sitting about four rows behind her and she’s willing him to look in her direction. 

They haven’t spoken in 4 weeks. He ignores all her calls and texts. He moves out the night of their conversation or fight, she doesn’t know what to call it. Betty thinks she heard her mom say that he’s staying with Sweet Pea for a while.

She can’t concentrate on what’s in front of her - this accomplishment in her life. High school is over. The last four years were coming to an end and as much as she hates to admit it, she would miss Riverdale. It would always be home to her no matter where she was in the world, no matter what horrible memories she has associated with this place.

She glances back at him again, for the fiftieth time, and he still doesn’t look at her. It’s as if he’s chosen to completely omit her from his line of vision – just a blacked-out hole, a tattoo that he’s cut off. She feels a wave of sadness wash over her – he can’t even look at her anymore. 

When she hears her name being called, she gets up, numbly, a fake Cooper smile plastered on her face. She sees her mom cheering in the crowd, one of the few times in her life that Alice Cooper has broken the polite and appropriate façade, and she waves back, proud of her accomplishment. 

She readjusts the cap on her head as she walks up the ramp, her steps getting slower as she realizes with each step, she is walking towards her future and away from all that she knows, a future away from him. For the first time in her life, she isn't as eager for what comes next – college, a career, her future that she’s been planning for her whole life. She is scared, absolutely terrified.

She feels the bright smile begin to melt off her face and her hands are trembling as it all hits her. She feels a warm hand on her shoulder and looks up into the eyes of her English teacher, who is smiling softly at her.

"Congratulations, Betty."

She nods blankly and shakes hands with a few more important members of the community including Hiram Lodge who just gives her a tight smile and touches her hand only briefly before moving onto the next person.

That’s it. She has her diploma and she is done. High school is over. The graduation proceedings end and the crowd starts to disperse, ready for celebrations.

She looks back out into the crowd, to the place where he sat only moments ago, her eyes scanning the crowd for that familiar beanie.

He isn't there.

Her diploma almost slips out of her hands as she chokes back a sob.

_He’s gone._

**_August 21, 2020_ **

Move in day is on Monday. It’s Friday and she’s packing the last of her bags, triple-checking that she has everything. She’s leaving in a few hours.

Jughead still hasn’t responded to any of her attempts at contacting him. FP packed up Jughead’s belongings weeks ago, bringing it over to Sweet Pea’s trailer and Betty can’t believe that he’s managed to avoid her all this time even though they technically lived in the same house.

She texts him. _I’m leaving today, Juggie. I miss you. Can I please see you?_

Read. He doesn’t respond and she doesn’t know that he left for Iowa last Thursday. 

As she packs her last piece of luggage into the back of her mom’s SUV, she looks out at Elm Street, her whole world growing up, and wishes that she sees him riding down the paved road, heading towards the white house with the red door.

He isn’t and she doesn’t.

**_September 14, 2020_ **

She almost swears that she sees him on the sidewalk outside her dormitory building but she knows that it's a passing fantasy – a vision, a delusion, a fallacy.

It’s her mind playing tricks with her – tormenting her. Whatever it was, it wasn't real.

He's a figment of her imagination and no matter how much she hopes, wishes, prays, dreams that he would be outside, begging to see her, she knows it will never happen.

She still loves him. She still thinks about him every second of every minute of every hour of every single day. Her emotions fluctuate day to day – from shame to despair to hope to anger. She feels like she’s drowning in it and she knows she has to stop, gasp for air, and pull herself out of this.

She doesn't speak much to her roommate who has given up trying to get to know her after the first week. She knows she should be making new friends and trying to fit in, getting that full college experience but there’s a cloud of sadness that grips her constantly.

She never quite loses that hold on reality though. She's Betty Cooper.

She's gotten this far and she will never let that go. So, after months of crying, she throws herself into academics and her classes, like she’d done in the past.

Her GPA will be amazing and will meet even Alice Cooper’s strict standards. She thinks she will make the Dean’s List this semester. 

Her old copies of the Blue & Gold sit yellowing and collecting dust in a binder under her bed. She doesn’t do that anymore.

She's stopped writing. It's been four months.

**_December 15, 2020_ **

The semester is almost over and she’s bogged down with finals. Betty pushes her blonde hair out of her face as she pulls a book onto her lap, flipping a few pages until she finds what she needs. She has two more tests and one more paper to finish and then she can head away for winter break.

Her mom tells her that they’ll spend a week in New York City to celebrate the end of her first semester. She knows it’s just an excuse for her not to go home to Riverdale so she won’t need to see him, so they won’t be trapped in the same house. 

Betty plans to spend the rest of winter break at the Lodge estate in Miami with Veronica. Her mom is even joining them for Christmas.

At least, her best friend has forgiven her. She and Veronica are closer than ever and she’s so grateful that Yale and Barnard are not that far apart from one another. Betty finds that she spends a lot of her weekends in the city with Veronica.

It’s been 7 months since she’s heard his voice.

And, between her bouts of disappointment and regret, she feels frustration and rage. How could he walk away so easily? Why didn’t he stay so they could fix this? Why didn’t he try to fight for her, for them?

_You’re so much stronger than all of the white noise._

She repeats it to herself. 

**_February 14, 2021 ___**

____

____

It's the first Valentine's Day that she's spent alone in nearly three years. She doesn't feel quite as alone as she expected she would though.

She sits in her room and stuffs her face with chocolates as she Facetimes with Kevin. He brags about the arts and culture scene in Pittsburgh and only once mentions Fangs, who he is living with since they’re in the same city and their universities are practically next to each other.

It's simple and it's easy. It only hurts for the briefest of moments and she lets herself feel it. It’s been so long since she’s allowed herself to do that.

Kevin doesn't ask her if _he's_ called her and she doesn't tell him about how she’s stopped writing or really doing anything that reminds her of Jughead. Kevin doesn't know and she can't tell him. She’s not going to be a journalist. She’s not going to be a profiler. All of it brings back too many memories. It'll break his heart.

So, she smiles and eats another piece of chocolate.

It doesn't hurt as much today.

**_April 19, 2021 ___**

____

__

She’s out with her friends. It’s her roommate’s birthday and even though it’s a Monday, they’re out at the campus bar doing karaoke. Her roommate hands her the microphone and selects the song. One Direction booms out of the speakers and Betty throws her head back, laughing. Of course.

Betty does her best Harry Styles impression as she sings and dances around, her hips moving to the beat.

She lets herself forget and loses herself in the moment. She doesn’t feel sad or angry at all.

She doesn’t think about him at all.

**_May 6, 2021 ___**

____

____

Betty stares at her calendar and it's absolutely mind-boggling that it's been one year. She's lived a single year without any form of contact from him. She doesn’t know if he’s still at Iowa. She doesn't even know if he's still alive. Does he like his program? Is he enjoying living in the Midwest? Is he happy?

She stops herself from thinking about him. Her mind seems to have grown accustomed to the vacant spot where his memory was.

It's like a gaping black hole.

But, she ignores it.

It's been one year. She crosses the date out, making a big black X on the calendar with her sharpie, like she does all the other days.

She can feel the tears prickling in her eyes and she bites down on her lip. It isn't until her calendar is covered with black sharpie marks and she tastes the copper tang on her tongue that she feels slightly better. 

He’s in her past. She needs to focus on her present and her future.

She takes in a deep breath, caps her sharpie, and rips the calendar down from the wall, throwing it into the trash.

She hates May.

**_May 9, 2021 ___**

____

____

Betty hears a knock on her door and is slightly annoyed as she has a major term paper due on Monday. It’s late and she has no idea who it could be.

"Come in."

The knock is more insistent this time and she lets out a heavy sigh before trudging her way to the door wondering if her roommate forgot her key or something. Betty thought she was staying over at her boyfriend’s place. She whips it open, a glare firmly affixed on her pretty face. She falls against the door frame and her eyes are wide in shock.

"Jughead?" She manages to gasp out.

He's just as painfully gorgeous as he's always been and she can't help herself as she reaches out to touch him, needing concrete evidence that he's real. She didn’t just imagine this. He isn’t a figment of her imagination.

Her hand is shaking and she can't find her voice. He grasps her hand gently in his own, marveling at how small it was. She had always been someone that he wanted to protect from the world.

His hand is warm. She can't find the right words but when she feels his grip tighten around her hand she quickly retracts it and shakes her head violently.

"No. You can't be here."

He tries to speak but she won't let him.

“Jug, I can’t do this again.”

She slams the door in his face.

**_May 10, 2021 ___**

____

____

**8:25 AM**  
Betty leaves her room knowing that she's going to be late for recitation. It's not a habit that she partakes in often. She nearly trips on her way out.

She looks down and sees Jughead leaning against the wall next to her room. He spent the night in her hallway.

There are dark circles under his eyes and his jaw is more clearly defined. He's lost weight. She lets out a sigh and nudges him. He jolts awake and she feels a pang of guilt in her heart before she pushes it away.

It’s been a year and now he wants to talk to her? No, it’s too late. She refuses to let herself crumble, not when she’s come so far.

"You can sleep in my room."

She can hardly believe the words that are coming out of her mouth.

"I have to go to class. I'll be back in an hour."

He just nods at her and she finds that she can't look him in the eye, not when he gazes up at her like that. Like he still loves her.

He can't. He’s not allowed to love her. He was the one that walked away. Jughead Jones cannot and does not love Betty Cooper.

"My side is by the window."

She runs down the hallway. She's three minutes late to class.

 **10:30 AM**  
She's been pacing outside her door for nearly an hour. A few of her hallmates have passed by her, giving her curious glances and she knows that she probably looks like a lunatic right now. 

She can't go in though. She can't make herself open the door because on the other side is her first true love, her only love.

God, she’s pathetic.

She leans her head against the cool metal of her door and quiets her mind. She turns the doorknob and walks in. He's still sleeping. She shrugs off her jacket and her tote bag falls to the floor. She kicks off her shoes and crawls into bed with him.

Almost immediately, he wraps his arms around her sleepily. He's probably not even aware that it's her that he's hugging. She closes her eyes and lets the tears slide down her face as she leans back into him.

She hates that it feels so right to be in his arms again. She wishes this could last and she could just stay in this moment forever.

She knows she can't.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000


	2. It’s easier to run away than to know what to say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Jughead’s POV. Remember when I said this is angsty? There’s a lot more ahead. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions and I hope I’ve succeeded in depicting what the ups and downs look like when you’re trying to recover from heartbreak. Read the new tags and thanks for joining me on this bumpy ride. 
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are everything and keep me writing!
> 
> Chapter title comes from Ruel's "Say".

_Say what you mean out loud_  
_Drowning in silence when I’m lost in the crowd_  
_Because every sweet thing you’d never speak, it’s deafening_  
_Never knowing what could be_  
_Wish I could show you how but you’re just a ghost now_

_“Out Loud” by Gabbie Hanna_

**Chapter 2: It’s easier to run away than to know what to say**

**_March 20, 2020_ **

She's drunk.

It's probably one of the few times Betty Cooper’s actually gotten drunk-drunk, completely free and letting go of all the pretenses. The Stonewall preppies have been defeated and all is well with the Riverdale universe for a night. They can finally relax. 

All Jughead can do is stand there, enraptured, watching as she dances around the room, singing pop songs that float into her head. She's gorgeous. And perfect. And beautiful. And devastatingly smart – an intellectual force. She's miles ahead of him, always planning, always striving for something better.

She slows herself down for him, he knows. She waits for him to catch up.

And, it drives him insane because he knows that he will always be the one, the reason, the sole purpose, that she stops herself. He thought he dealt with these emotions years ago when they first started dating but recently, they’ve been crawling back up inside him again.

He tries so hard to be worthy of her – going to Stonewall, taking this opportunity to become a better version of himself because he can’t imagine any future of his where she’s not in it as a focus. He orbits himself around her and she is everything. He still manages to mess that up somehow and now he’s almost done with the school year, scrambling to catch up because he decided to play dead for a few weeks.

He thinks about if they could make this work – she at Yale, he at University of Iowa – if he even gets in. It’s all conditional, of course. The two schools are over 1000 miles apart. 

It feels like every passing moment, every kiss, every touch, every caress just delays the inevitable conversation that they still haven’t had yet. What are we going to do about the distance?

She stumbles into his arms, smiles up at him brightly and kisses him sloppily. He grabs the back of her head, gently cradling it in his palm as she molds his body against his. 

He'll keep taking and he'll keep stalling.

He can’t think about tomorrow because right now, he needs another moment with her. He can't give it up.

Not yet.

_**May 6, 2020** _

Archie. She kissed Archie. If she had kissed anyone else on the planet, it probably would’ve hurt less than Archie. Archie is one of his biggest insecurities and she knows that. He is the boy that had it all: a supportive father, a loving mother, an unbroken childhood home, the popularity, the attention, and the money. 

_Doesn’t it ever occur to you just how different we are? You’re here until you’re sick of slumming it with me or until Archie changes his mind and says he wants to be with you?_

The words haunt him. He was right all along. 

She tries to explain. _He meant nothing. It was just a kiss. I love you, Jug. You. I’m so sorry. Please, look at me. Jug, say something._

He walks away.

_**May 13, 2020** _

It’s been a week and in that span of time, Jughead’s managed to lose both his best friend and the love of his life. He’s a fool. He let himself believe that fantasy for too long. He let himself fall into that trap of hope and fantasy and when it was all ripped from him that night, it hurt that much more because all along, he knew better.

He never should’ve let his guard down. He never should’ve believed that his life is destined for anything but doom and gloom.

He’s a fool because he let himself hope. Idiot.

_**June 4, 2020** _

Graduation marks the first time that he’s set eyes on Betty Cooper since she tore his heart from his chest a month ago. He knows she keeps looking at him but he pretends he can’t feel her gaze raking over his body, piercing into his skin, and absorbing his every thought.

Jughead ignores her. The wound is too fresh and too deep. He can’t look at her. He can’t talk to her. 

It’s for the best. He keeps telling himself that. It wouldn’t have lasted anyway. The distance would’ve gotten to them.

Maybe one of these days, he'll actually believe it.

 _ **July 20, 2020**_

He drinks more than he should. He falls back against the back of the bar stool and looks around, blinking as his vision blurs. 

Jughead can barely think much less function yet he still can't forget her. He still can't make his brain shut up. He still can't stop the stinging in his chest.

He's a sad excuse. He demands another shot of whisky but the bartender sends him a sharp glare and shakes his head. It doesn’t matter if he is the Serpent King. The bartender’s saying something but Jughead can't seem to make himself care or listen. 

He mutters curses under his breath before he stumbles out of the bar.

The air is warm, hot, and heavy. It's humid like it is during most summers. He wonders what she’s doing right now. 

Betty’s only a few miles away from him, on the other side of town, in the place that’s supposed to be both their homes but he can’t go back there. Not when she’s there. Not when every single thing in that house reminds him of her.

When he finally staggers back to Sweet Pea’s that night, he falls onto the couch. He opens his phone and squints at the bright light. He opens up his photo album and scrolls down to the picture they had taken a while ago at Cheryl’s party. She’s wearing a yellow shirt and teal mini-skirt and he’s in a red button down. 

They were so happy then. He wants to be that happy now. 

He looks at her image – she’s smiling, love clear in her eyes, and he wishes he can take himself back to that moment and whispers into the dark.

"Sweet dreams, love."

He’s done this so many nights now.

_**August 2, 2020** _

He writes more than he ever has before in his life. He doesn’t sleep as much as he should. He just stays up at all hours of the night, drinking coffee, and typing away at his laptop. He doesn’t read the words he’s writing – he just types and lets it flow. 

At least, his heartbreak has allowed him to fully channel his talent. 

He writes to forget. He writes to pretend. In his writing, his best friend doesn’t betray him. The love of his life loves him and only him.

It’s all a web of lies. 

_**August 31, 2020** _

Jughead knows it’s pathetic but he can’t help but stalk Betty on social media. It’s been 16 weeks since they’ve spoken and he can’t stop himself – he just needs to know. They went from speaking every day to absolutely nothing, no contact at all. It’s the first time he allows himself to look because at least now it’s become a dull pain, ever present in the center of his chest. 

He wants to know how she’s doing, how she’s acclimating. Does she like her roommate? What’s it like living in New Haven? Did she try the clam pizza yet? He looks at her Instagram, watches her stories, and he’s so grateful that she hasn’t blocked him.

He asks about her, as subtly as he can during his conversations with Toni and Fangs.

It's not subtle. 

It's glaringly obvious that he's still as in love with her as he's always been but he tells himself that it's for the best and that he's getting better.

It is for the best. He is not getting better.

_**September 10, 2020** _

This is all Alice’s doing. 

Jughead wakes up to an email from FP and Alice. He knows it’s really from Alice. His dad has always been distant when it comes to relationship advice and he almost never butted in. Alice tells him that he should at least let Betty explain what happened. It is a conversation that they never really had – he had walked out before they could have it. Their relationship is too important to throw away. It’s the last line of the email that really gets to him.

_Don’t repeat the same mistake that I made all those years ago. Your dad and I lost so much time._

There’s a plane ticket attached to the email. 

_**September 14, 2020** _

Jughead paces around his room for an hour after he reads the email, debating if he is going to go. But, the truth is that he knows as soon as he opens up the attachment that he’s going to go.

He doesn't even pack.

He slings his backpack over his shoulder as he de-boards the plane. He is in New York. He hops on the train to Connecticut and soon, he is on his way to New Haven.

He doesn't know what he'll say to her. He doesn't even know if he'll get the courage to talk to her. He doesn’t know if he’s really ready to have this conversation.

The train ride takes longer than he expects but soon he finds himself in front of the gated entrance to Yale. The buildings tower around him and he takes in a calming breath.

His palms are sweaty and he reaches into his pocket, pulling out the information that Alice had sent him. He starts to walk towards the campus.

When he sees her, it's not like the way it is in the movies. Sure, his world starts spinning and all the breath escapes his lungs but instead of happiness or relief, he feels like someone is ripping apart his chest or had just punched him in the gut.

She's only 20 feet away from him yet they are still separated by a mass of people. He stands outside the building, staring at a world that he will never be a part of.

Betty smiles and his heart feels like it will explode at any moment. Her hair is longer, straighter. She wears it down and he finds that he misses her iconic ponytail. There are dark circles under her eyes but she's still just as beautiful as he remembered her to be.

She glances in his direction and for a moment, he thinks she sees him. He ducks behind a tree, hiding himself. He takes a breath and clenches his eyes shut. When his breathing has stabled, he turns back around and looks for her. She’s gone.

This is wrong. He shouldn’t have come. He’s not ready for this. 

_**October 2, 2020** _

It's his birthday today. Jughead stares at the phone. He doesn't know why he expects her to call or text. It just seems like the _her_ thing to do. Since she found out his birthday sophomore year of high school, she’s never missed one. 

It’s hard to think about her but he's gotten better. Really, he has.

Two more minutes to midnight. She has two minutes left to call or text.

He leans back on his bed. He needs for her to reach out. He knows she probably won’t but there’s a burning desire within him and he just desperately needs to hear her voice. He needs to hold her in his arms, feel the way her heart beats against his, the way that her skin pulses when he caresses her.

He doesn’t want to forget her even though it’s probably better that he did. Would that help with this pain? He doesn’t think it will and he knows that he can’t really bring himself to ever do that – forget Betty Cooper. It terrifies him because with each passing day, he feels like she slips from him further and further away. He’s haunted by the ghost of her, a dissipating wisp in his memory.

He misses her.

But, he shouldn’t miss her. He is the one that made this choice. No. He may have walked away but she is the one that did what she did. How could she expect him to stay after that?

Should he have stayed? Should he have listened to her? Should he have tried?

To him, it just feels like she let him walk out of her life. It kills him to think of that. If she loved him more, maybe she would never have cheated. If she loved him more, maybe she never would have done any of it.

It's midnight.

She didn't call.

He uncaps a bottle of whisky, his poison of choice, and takes a shot, telling himself that he’s not like his father and that this is in celebration of his birthday. He knows it’s a lie. The alcohol burns as it slides down his throat but he can feel it start to numb his senses already.

_**December 25, 2020** _

It’s Christmas. Betty is not here. 

Neither is Alice. Jughead sits at the dining room table that’s too big for he, Jellybean, and his dad. His sister talks about the past semester and how much she loves all her classes. Jughead listens quietly and is genuinely happy for her. She’s thriving and it’s everything that he’s ever wanted for her.

FP carves the ham and Jughead is impressed that his dad actually cooked this year. It’s so unlike him. His dad sheepishly admits that this is all Alice’s doing. She made sure everything was prepped and ready to heat before she left. 

It’s nice being here with his family. 

He looks towards the kitchen and half expects a blonde ponytail to come swishing through the doorway. 

It’s Christmas. She’s not here.

_**February 14, 2021** _

Jughead's at an anti-Valentine’s day party that his roommate dragged him to. He’s had one too many beers and there’s a girl on his arm. He doesn’t know how she got there. He pushes her away when he realizes it and grabs a shot from someone who’s passing them out, not even asking what it is.

It's such a familiar scene now. He loses himself in alcohol and never in his life has he felt more like his father.

He swallows hard and looks down at his phone. It's Valentine's Day. He sent her chocolates because he knows how rarely she indulges herself and chocolates were always her weakness.

He sent them anonymously, of course, from an admirer. She won't know it's from him. He doesn’t know why he does it. It was an impulse. 

He hopes she likes them.

_**April 19, 2021** _

Betty’s tagged in a video and a couple of pictures. Jughead opens it because he’s the biggest idiot on the planet and One Direction booms through the small shiny phone screen. She looks happy – real, genuine happiness.

She’s moved on.

He needs to let himself do the same. Enough of this. 

_**May 5, 2021** _

Kevin Keller is the last person he expects to see at the door. Jughead furrows his brow in confusion before he offers an awkward hello and welcomes him into his dad’s apartment. Jughead knows that his dad only rented this place out for him because he is coming home for the summer. FP understands heartbreak. He wouldn’t force his own son to be in a state of purgatory – so close and inhabiting the same space with the woman that broke his heart only a year ago.

Jughead finishes his semester early. Classes ended last week and he only has a few more papers left before he officially completes his first year of college. He didn’t do the best but it’s good enough and with every passing day, he starts to feel more like himself.

Kevin steps in, surveys the place with an upturned nose. "Charming."

Jughead knows it's not. It's a mess.

"I wasn't expecting company."

"I'm in town for a few weeks to visit my dad before I go off to my glamorous internship. I thought I'd visit an old friend."

Jughead didn’t really think they were ever really friends but he’ll take it. They sit at the kitchen table and Jughead offers him some coffee. The conversation flows surprisingly easily with Kevin talking about his and Fangs’ year in Pittsburgh. 

Kevin takes a small sip and clears his throat. "Have you talked to her?"

Jughead knows exactly who he is referring to and all he can manage is a small shake of his head.

"She's not the same, you know?"

Jughead’s silent.

"She’s throwing herself into her school work but she’s lost all that passion that she used to have when you guys were together sleuthing and solving mysteries,” Kevin confesses. “I think the whole thing’s changed her.”

Jughead glances up and he leans in closer. "What do you mean?”

“She’s just going through the motions. I don’t think she’s really there.”

Jughead runs his hand across his face as reality sinks into his mind. All this time, he’s been focusing on how heartbroken and destroyed he was, thinking that she had moved on. After all, she was the one that kissed Archie.

But, she’s still hurting. She hasn’t moved on.

For the first time in a year, hope blooms in his chest. They need to talk.

_**May 10, 2021** _

**6:04 AM**  
Jughead can't pretend that it didn't hurt when she slams the door in his face but he is standing his ground. He will not run away this time.

He hasn't slept. He simply listens to her shuffling around her room for most of the night. At around 2AM, he finally hears her turn off the light and go to bed. He looks at his watch. It's 6 AM and she's not up, blasting music and going out for a run.

So much has changed.

 **9:30 AM**  
He doesn't sleep while he's left alone in her room. He takes the time to explore every single inch of it. He looks at the pictures hanging on her wall and is not surprised that she doesn’t have any of them hanging up. It’s the evidence that he needs and he relishes in it. It hurts for her too. 

He hears her outside and hops into the bed, feigning sleep. He carefully opens his eyes after a few minutes when he realizes that she's just standing out there.

It's not until an hour later that she finally comes in. He quickly shuts his eyes and evens out his breathing. He does not expect her to crawl into bed with him. He wraps his arms around her automatically, his body moving before he really thinks it through. It feels so right to have her in his arms again. 

She falls asleep within five minutes and he kisses the top of her head, letting himself breathe in the familiar scent of her hair. They can fix this, he promises himself. They can work through this.

"Sweet dreams, love."

He closes his eyes and pulls her closer.

00000000000000000000000000000000000


	3. I’m sorry but I can’t just go turn off how I feel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I upped the chapter count because I can’t seem to stop writing this. Next up is Betty’s POV. Y’all – this was a hard one to write but it had to be done. Again, I’ll reiterate that I do not agree with Betty cheating on Jughead and I don’t think it’s in character for her but as it is now canon, I’ve done my best to explain her actions from her POV. Hopefully, I’ve done a decent job of it. Grab a stuffed animal and hold on. 
> 
> To quote Flo Rida, it’s going down for real. 
> 
> Comment and kudos are everything and keep me writing!
> 
> Chapter title comes from Jimmy Eat World's "Kill".

_The scent you wear moves in lines_  
_From your apartment into mine_  
_You act like you don’t know me_  
_My god, you tempt my anxious mind_  
_And, it takes me away_  
_Would it be much better if I knew nothing about you?_

_“1957” by Milo Greene_

**Chapter 3: I’m sorry but I can’t just go turn off how I feel**

**_May 10, 2021_ **

**12:30 PM**  
Betty keeps herself at a safe distance away from Jughead and sits on her desk, her hand clutching the side of it, as if pressing her very being into the wood is the only thing that is saving her from collapsing to the ground.

What is the right thing to do now? Is she supposed to beg for forgiveness? Is she supposed to welcome him back with open arms? Is she supposed to forget the past year happened and just continue onwards?

She wants to go to him. She wants to hug him. She wants to kiss him. She wants to yell at him and make him understand everything she's felt for the past year. She wants him to feel the vulnerability that she feels every moment that she stays in his presence. She feels so exposed like she’s a raw, open nerve that he can strike at any time. 

She’s supposed to be over this. He’s right here next to her now and it all comes rushing back to her. It was never over. She just hid it well.

_I never stopped loving you. I’m not sure I can._

It’s as true then as it is now.

Betty glances over at him. He’s looking at the floor, silent and unmoving. She wants him to move. She wants him to come to her. She wants him to tell her that he still loves her. And then she wants to fall into his arms and never leave. She wants him to tell her that everything that happened in the past year is just a bad memory and that they will be okay.

She wants him to tell her that they can fix this and move on from it. She wants to tell him that she’s sorry and she wants him to forgive her. 

But, she says nothing. And, he says nothing.

So, they sit there. She stares at the ground. He looks out the window, hands clasped tightly in front of him.

The room is silent. It’s not easy like it used to be.

 **1:00PM**  
They walk a few blocks to a diner next to campus and close to her dormitory building. They walk in silence, a few feet apart, and Betty is reminded of how many times they’ve done this – walking together somewhere, basking in each other’s presence, completely content with the silence between them. This is different though.

This is so very different.

They slide into an open booth on opposite sides of the table. The vinyl squeaks with every movement she makes and she buries herself behind the large menu, her mind firing at lightning speeds. She still doesn’t know what to say to him. 

She still doesn’t know why he’s here. Did he finish his semester already? Why did he come? 

She orders waffles with strawberries and a vanilla milkshake. He gets a burger and a mint chocolate chip milkshake. It’s all so familiar. This is exactly what they used to order whenever they would go to Pop’s. The waffles here aren’t quite the same but it’s still nostalgic. They’re her favorite thing on the menu. 

She remembers spending many weekend mornings at Pop’s with Jughead. When the waitress delivers their milkshakes, she takes a slow sip and she cannot ignore the thought when it flashes through her mind.

This is not the same.

 **2:06 PM**  
They’ve been in the diner for an hour and they still haven’t talked about it. Betty’s thankful that it’s a slow Monday afternoon so there’s not that much traffic. The diner is basically empty and there’s only one waitress working. She’s also done with classes for the rest of the day so she doesn’t have anywhere to be. Perhaps, that’s not a good thing though. Perhaps, she needs an excuse to escape from the present situation.

She taps her fingers against the plastic countertop. Their food plates are empty and cleared away. Their drinks have been replaced by cups of coffee. She looks at him and he’s glancing out the window, seemingly transfixed with the scene outside. 

“Why are you here, Jug?”

There. She asked it. 

He doesn’t respond for a few moments but when he does, his voice is firm, as if he’s practiced this before. He doesn’t look at her, his gaze on the window. “Why did you do it? Why did you kiss Archie?”

Straight to the point. She supposes it’s better this way. Why delay the inevitable?

“I don’t know what you want to hear, Jug.” 

She sighs and resists the urge to dig her fingernails into her palms as she takes in a calming breath. She looks straight at him even though he still can’t meet her gaze. “What is this for you? Closure?”

“I need an explanation, Betty,” he says, finally looking into her eyes. They’re pained, a reflection of her own.

He doesn’t answer her question and she still doesn’t know the right things to say. It feels like if she says one wrong word, he’ll disappear from her sight and she can’t have that. She needs him to stay. 

“It was a mistake.” She whispers. “It was a stupid idiotic mistake and I wish I never did it. I wish I could go back in time and stop myself because it ruined everything.”

Jughead leans back against the seat. “That’s not a reason. It’s not what I asked. Why did you kiss Archie?”

Betty falters and she feels like her entire body is trembling. She bites her lip and her eyes water. “I was mad and frustrated with you. You were in such a dark place after that whole Stonewall incident and I didn’t know how to help you. I was exhausted and I wanted to get out of Riverdale and away from all that madness. Archie,” she stops, debating if she wants to continue.

His gaze is so intense now as he hangs on her every word.

“Archie represented my childhood. He was a part of my innocent past when I was still the naïve girl next door. He represented an idyllic past, before the Black Hood, before the Farm, before the Gargoyle King, before Chic. I felt like you were slipping away from me and I got scared and I latched onto a false memory.”

It’s the whole truth. And, she doesn’t know if she should’ve said it.

“It was stupid, Jug. That memory was never real and I shouldn’t have done it. I can’t tell you how much I regret it. I loved you. You were the only one that was truly in my heart.” She uses the past tense but she knows it’s true in the present as well.

“If I was really in your heart, you wouldn’t have kissed him. Archie? Really? I had to watch you pine after him for years and for the first six months of our relationship, I was convinced that you would change your mind and go be with him instead.”

She freezes and hangs her head down in shame. “I know, Jug. I know he was the worst person to kiss and I’m so sorry I did it.”

“So, what? I didn’t write a few essays and didn’t complete every assignment in your binder so you go off and hurt me in the worst way possible?”

She flinches at that. “It was so much more than that, Jug, and you know it. You completely shut down. You were obsessed with those video tapes and I couldn’t get through to you. You shut me out.”

He shakes his head adamantly. “I never shut you out.”

“Then why didn’t you talk to me about how you were feeling? Why didn’t you talk to me about what you were going through? I always wanted to listen. I asked and you pushed me away every time. Why did you apply to a school that’s 1000 miles away from me? It was like you were running away from me.”

“It’s the best writing program in the country, Betty. That’s why I applied. I needed to put me first. After all the shit that I went through last year, I needed to do something for me.”

“We never even talked about it. I thought our relationship was the only future you wanted?”

He looks at her sharply. “I let our relationship become my everything and look where that got me.”

“God, Jug,” she says in frustration, “It wasn’t that I didn’t want you to apply. I’m thrilled you did but I just wish you talked to me about it. I wish I didn’t have to find out when they already gave you an offer. I wish it was an actual discussion that involved both of our voices.”

She paused and clasped her hands together. “I was always going to fight for us. I knew we could make it work somehow. I was never going to let the distance break us but I guess I did it anyway.” 

She licks her lips. They taste like salt from her tears. “I never meant to break us, Jug. I made a mistake and I will tell you a thousand times if I have to, I’m sorry.”

She feels like she’s speaking into a void. He doesn’t say anything and with every passing moment that he’s silent and unresponsive, she grows more and more frantic.

“I’m so sorry, Jug,” she says again and her voice breaks. He’s not looking at her again and she just feels so ashamed.

He finally speaks after what feels like a lifetime. “Okay.”

It’s all he says before he moves to get out of the booth. She grabs onto his arm and stops him. His skin burns under her touch and she just needs to hold onto him in whatever way possible. “No, please don’t go. Please, can we talk about this? Can we fix this?”

“I can’t think around you, Betty,” he says, his voice unsteady. “I need to think and I can’t do it around you.”

Betty lets go and watches him start to get up again. “I’m coming back home next week. Can I see you?”

He pauses and lets out a heavy sigh before sitting back down and running his hand through his hair. “I don’t know yet.”

“Please, Jug. Please let me fix this.”

“I need to think.”

It’s not the answer she wants but she guesses it’s all she can expect for now. She watches him walk out of her life, again. She breaks down crying and she doesn’t care that people are staring, wondering what happened to this poor girl. No one comes to comfort her, they just let her cry.

She’s all alone again.

_**May 19, 2021** _

Betty’s been back in her childhood home for four days now. Jughead hasn’t contacted her. He hasn’t come home. She debates about texting him and it all reminds her so much of the last time. She doesn’t know if she can go through this again. It hurt enough the first time around.

She leans back against her bed and surrounds herself with pink pillows, burying herself in them. Her mom and FP have given her space and she appreciates it. FP is good for Alice. If this were two years ago, Alice would’ve been in her room, demanding that Betty stop moping and do something better with her life.

She needs to feel this, she thinks. So, she lets herself and she hopes, stupidly, that he’ll let her fix this. 

_**May 26, 2021** _

It’s Wednesday and there’s a double feature of James Dean movies at the Bijou. 

After 10 minutes of Betty trying to convince FP to give her Jughead’s temporary address in town, he finally caves in. He looks at her seriously. 

“Don’t break his heart again, Betty.” 

FP’s words hurt and she flinches at them. She nods. “I won’t.”

Betty finds herself at an indiscriminate building. She walks up the stairs and searches for the numbered door that she’s looking for. She knocks.

There’s no answer. She tries again. 

When Jughead flings the door open, her voice catches in her throat because she’s caught off guard. How does he look so attractive all the time? He’s wearing a white tank top and black jeans. Her eyes skate over the toned muscles of his arms. She snaps herself out of it. He looks surprised to see her there.

Before he can say anything, she interjects. “There’s a double feature at the Bijou. James Dean. Your favorite.” 

Her voice wavers and she’s so quiet towards the end of her sentence that she wonders if he heard her at all.

He stares at her for a few more moments and she shuffles her feet, staring down at them. 

“Yeah, okay. Give me a few minutes.”

She’s shocked that he agrees. She quickly masks it.

He opens the door a little further and she takes it as an invitation to step inside. The apartment is bare with just the basics but there’s a bookshelf that filled with books in the corner of the living room. Of course, that would be the one aspect that he would focus on.

Books comfort him. They always have. Maybe she did still know him. Maybe he hasn’t changed that much.

He steps out from the hallway a few minutes later with a flannel on and she still hasn’t moved from her place by the entrance. She offers him a small smile and he returns it.

“Ready?”

He nods and follows her out.

At the theater, she insists on paying for his ticket because it seems like the right thing to do since she is the one that drags him out. He pays for his own popcorn and snacks. She buys a small popcorn and soda not because she’s actually going to eat it but because she needs something to hold in her hands so she can stop fidgeting.

She doesn't know how to do this. How does one do this? How does one fix something like this?

Her emotions are a jumbled mess. She’s happy he agreed to come along. She’s nervous because she doesn’t know how to act around him. She’s terrified that she’ll say the wrong thing and he’ll walk out on her again. 

She’s on edge. She can’t relax. She doesn't know what to do. This is definitely not a date. Were they friends now? Is that what this is?

That label makes her feel a little bit better and she goes with it. They are friends.

She takes the lie and ignores the bitter swallow. She bites her tongue as they sit side by side in the movie theater. She doesn't pay attention to the movie. She makes sure she stays on her side. She trains her eyes so that they don't wander off and stare at him in confusion, longing and hurt.

She just stares ahead, blankly.

It will have to do for now.

_**May 31, 2021** _

Her mom decides to throw a Memorial Day BBQ so Betty’s in the backyard, desperately trying to hang blue, red, and white paper lanterns along the fence before the guests start to arrive. It’s an Alice Cooper affair so, of course, everything needs to be perfect. She’s not sure why she got relegated to this task since she’s a foot shorter than FP.

The sun beams down at her and Betty wipes her brow as she tapes another lantern string to the fence, jumping so she can stick the tape up to the correct spot that her mother had dictated. She hears footsteps against the grass and assumes it’s Alice.

“Mom, do we have a ladder somewhere? This would be so much easier if I wasn’t short.” She complains before turning around.

It’s not Alice. It’s Archie.

This is the first time she’s seen him in over a year.

“Hi Betty,” he says. He looks the same. His blazing red hair is perfectly coiffed. He smiles cautiously at her.

“You can’t be here.”

“Your mom invited me,” he looks confused. “Well, technically, she invited my mom but I’m sure I was included in that invitation.”

Betty’s eyes nearly pop out of her head and she glances quickly back at the house. She breathes a sigh of relief when she doesn’t spot a familiar beanie.

“Archie, you can’t be here. Jughead’s coming and we’re-“ she stops herself. “He can’t see that you’re here. Especially not talking to me.”

“It’s been a year, Betty. I mean, we were best friends. All of us. I miss you guys. I miss you, Betty,” He says candidly and clarifies, “as a friend.”

“You can’t say that to me anymore. Leave.” She turns back around and focuses on the lanterns. She lets out the breath she was holding when he listens and walks away.

She doesn’t see Archie for the rest of the night. She doesn’t see Jughead either.

 _ **June 2, 2021**_

It’s Wednesday. 

Betty makes the same trek to his apartment and knocks on the door. He answers faster this time. 

“Movies?” She asks.

Jughead leans against the door frame and stares at her. 

She can feel her skin prickling against his gaze. “What?”

He cocks his head to the side. “What is this? What are we doing?”

Her mouth opens but she doesn’t have a response because she doesn’t really know. It’s not like she has a master plan. She’s just trying to be closer to him and show him that she’s worthy of his trust again. 

She takes a step closer to him and he doesn’t move. He doesn’t back away. She reaches out and cups his face, gently stroking his chin.

“What is this, Betty? Why are you here?”

The questions hangs in the air, unanswered. 

She leans into him and his arms come around to wrap around her midsection. She can feel the tears begin to slide down her face. They are nothing compared to the intensity of his grip. 

“I saw you two in the backyard,” Jughead whispers.

Of course, he did. 

“I told him to leave me alone.”

He pulls back to look at her but his arms are still wrapped around her waist. “What?”

“Don’t you know, Jug, I’d give up anything for you? You’re what matters to me.”

He tightens his grip and pulls her back in. She sighs against his chest and listens to his heartbeat. It’s steady and it’s calming. She loses herself in it.

_**June 14, 2021** _

Betty’s surprised when she comes downstairs in the morning and sees Jughead sitting at the dining room table, typing away at his laptop. He acknowledges her presence when she enters the kitchen but mostly, concentrates on whatever he’s working on.

She pours herself a cup of coffee, grabs her laptop from the living room table, and sits across from him. She starts to do a little research on internships for next semester. She peers up at Jughead, past the top of her laptop, and sees that he’s working intently, focused on whatever he is writing.

A smile creeps onto her face. She takes a sip of coffee and clicks on a posting for an internship at a criminal psychology lab at Yale.

_**June 23, 2021** _

Betty’s grabbing her purse and about to head out the door when she hears the knock. Her mom and FP aren’t home so she doesn’t know who it could be. She opens the front door, surprise coloring her pretty face when she sees that it’s Jughead.

“It’s Wednesday. Movies?” He asks simply.

She thinks it’s cute that he knocked and this feels like a date but she knows it’s not. She’s beaming up at him and she nods, practically skipping out the door. She hasn’t smiled this much in a really long time.

That night, when they sit side by side at the theater, his shoulder bumps into hers. She almost jolts at the contact but forces herself to stay still. He doesn’t move his shoulder. She doesn’t move hers.

They’re touching. It feels so right.

**_July 4, 2021_ **

It’s Independence Day and Betty watches in amusement as her mom and FP bicker in the backyard. FP bought a couple hundred dollars worth of fireworks without asking Alice. Her mother is currently in the yard, hands on her hips, eyes blazing as she argues with him about the safety of setting them off this close to the house.

“You know, Mary did it in her yard last year. What’s the issue? It’s not like we’ll get arrested,” FP says. He ignores Alice when she rolls her eyes at him.

“They at it again?” Jughead asks as he comes up behind her to join her on the porch.

Betty giggles. “Yes, same old same old. I’m impressed though. FP managed to talk her off the ledge so we are officially getting fireworks this year.”

He smiles back at her. “Do you think he’ll accidentally burn something?”

“I forgot you were such a pyromaniac,” she says teasingly. 

He scoffs. “I’m not a pyromaniac. That was once!” 

“And your obsession with fireworks? What do you call that?”

“Everyone’s obsessed with fireworks. Why do you think everyone stares at them in fascination?”

They both look up, doing exactly as he said, when FP lights the first batch. FP runs back to them and whoops out loud. They both smile at his youthful delight.

They’re both quiet, watching, but Betty doesn’t mind the silence. Jughead’s so close to her that she can feel the heat from his body. Their arms are almost brushing and she wants to take a step closer so that they’re touching. Before she can, she hears rustling and her eyes grow wide when she realizes who it is.

Archie walks through the passage that connects his yard with the Cooper’s. He stands a few feet away, waiting for them to acknowledge him.

Betty looks up at Jughead uncertainly and he looks down at her, momentarily confused by her reaction. He sees Archie and stiffens.

“Happy 4th,” Archie says. “The fireworks are great.” 

Neither of them respond. Betty clamps her mouth shut.

“I see FP got quite a selection this year. I saw them from my room,” Archie tries again. He takes a step closer.

Something ticks in Jughead’s jaw and she’s suddenly nervous, not knowing how this interaction will end. Her attention darts between the two men and she just want this moment to end.

“I think I’m done with fireworks for the night,” Jughead spits out before he turns on his heel and walks back into the house.

Archie takes a step forward but her voice stops him.

“Go home, Archie,” Betty says, shaking her head. She follows Jughead back inside.

_**July 10, 2021** _

Betty is walking down the stairs when she hears the door open and someone groaning. It’s Jughead. His knuckles are split open and bleeding. She rushes into the kitchen and grabs the first-aid kit before she kneels in front of Jughead who is sitting on the couch.

“What happened?”

He’s silent. She cleans and tends to his wounds and it takes her back. She’s done this so many times before for him when things were bad with the Serpents. He hisses when she brushes the alcohol wipe across the cuts.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. She puts the bloodied pads to the side and grabs some gauze. She’s wrapping it around his knuckles when he finally speaks.

“I punched him.”

She knows exactly who he means. She continues to wrap the gauze around his hand. “Do you feel better?”

He lets out a sardonic laugh. “It felt better when he started bleeding.”

“You do know how to pack a punch,” she comments. She gets the first aid tape out of the kit and cuts off a strip.

“He tried to apologize.”

“He’s been trying for a few months now. That’s what he was trying to do on Memorial Day.” Betty smooths the tape over the gauze and sits back, looking up at him.

“Longer,” Jughead admits. “He tried to talk to me before I even left Riverdale last year. He also reached out a few times when I was in Iowa. I didn’t listen.”

“You needed time.” 

He’s quiet as he considers her words. “I’ve had time.”

She doesn’t know how to respond so she busies herself with cleaning up the dirtied supplies and puts the unused ones back into the kit. She gets up to leave but he grabs her wrist before she can.

Her head turns sharply back at him and he offers her a small smile.

“Stay.”

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000


	4. Hold on to me because I’m a little unsteady

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys tired of the angst yet? Because I am. Enouuuuugh, I say. Spotify probably thinks I’m going through a break up with all the depressing music I listened to while writing. There’s a light at the end of this tunnel, I promise. Thanks for sticking with me through this. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are everything and keep me writing!
> 
> Chapter title comes from X Ambassadors' "Unsteady".

_So here I am trying to figure where it all went wrong_  
_Feel like a ghost in my own damn home_  
_Starting to wonder how I got so numb to this heavy shit I pour out_  
_They tell me “well, this is all part of life you see”_  
_But the world keeps circling around me_  
_No, can’t seem to stop being so hard on myself_

_“Heavy Shit” by Blake Rose_

**Chapter 4: Hold on to me because I’m a little unsteady**

**_May 10, 2021_ **

**11:30 AM**

Betty’s been asleep for about an hour now. Jughead still can’t seem to quiet his mind to rest – it’s been racing with unbidden thoughts. He closes his eyes and just lets himself feel the warmth of her skin against his, how her body molds so well to his. It feels so right to have her here, so close to him. He breathes in her scent and basks in it. He wonders if she changed her perfume because it’s not familiar to him.

Or maybe, it’s the same and he’s forgotten it. He pulls her in closer and commits the scent to memory.

He won’t forget this.

**2:57 PM**

Jughead stands across the street from the diner as he paces back and forth on the sidewalk. From this angle, he can still see into the restaurant. She’s still sitting there. She’s still crying.

He hates it when she cries. It’s always been the one thing that never fails to break him, no matter what the situation. He knows he’s the cause of these tears but he couldn’t sit there anymore. He doesn’t feel rational around her. When the tears started to fall down her face, he just wanted to wrap his arms around her, kiss her forehead, and soothe her pain.

She comes first, always before him. 

But, he needs to be selfish now. He deserves to be selfish. 

Her words ring through his mind.

 _Why didn’t you talk to me about what you were going through? I asked and you pushed me away every time._

Is it true? Did he push her away every time? 

It’s hard to recollect these memories. He’s pushed them so far down inside his mind and digging it back up, ripping apart the seams, and letting them infest his mind is incredibly difficult. It’s painful. 

He opens each memory back up, methodically, carefully. He won’t let himself crash again.

He didn’t tell her about applying to Iowa because he honestly didn’t think he would get in. The writing program is incredibly competitive with a 3% acceptance rate. He’s never considered himself to be in the top 3% of anything. So, he didn’t tell her because he knew exactly what she would do when he did – she would encourage him and be his cheerleader and she would get her hopes up and he just couldn’t face her when he inevitably disappointed her again.

So, he didn’t tell her.

He didn’t talk to her about his feelings about the Stonewall preppies trying to murder him because talking about them meant facing the harsh reality of it all. It was easier to focus on the video tapes because it was just another mystery to solve. Focusing on the tapes was a welcome distraction.

The preppies had bludgeoned him in the head. He almost died. 

How could he talk to her about it when he didn’t even want to face his own feelings about his fragile mortality?

He thought he was protecting her. That’s always his reasoning.

Maybe he was really just protecting himself.

_**May 12, 2021** _

Jughead’s back in Riverdale. He’s been back for more than 24 hours now but he spent most of yesterday in self-isolation. His fingers twitch as he sits on the couch, the TV is on but he’s not really watching the program. He wants to reach for the bottle of whisky on the kitchen counter but he resists. 

He’s better now. He doesn’t need it.

He doesn’t drink that night.

**_May 13, 2021_ **

Jughead’s sitting on the back porch, smoking a cigarette, when he hears FP come outside to join him. They sit opposite each other in wicker chairs. Amusement creeps into his mind. He never really thought his dad would ever own wicker yet here they were.

Alice had not so subtly mentioned that Betty would be back in Riverdale this Saturday and wouldn’t it be nice if they were able to have a nice family meal together. FP had shot Alice a warning look and she backed down and changed the subject. 

So, Betty was coming back but he already knew that. She told him a few days ago.

FP lights up a cigarette and they smoke in silence together. 

“Did you go see her?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I ask how it went?”

“It went.”

FP nods and doesn’t push the questions any further. He takes another big puff before blowing out the smoke. “You know, I loved your mother. But, it was a different type of love. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to love another woman the same way that I love Ally. She was my first love.” 

FP takes another drag. “I’m so lucky that we found our way back to each other. It made all those years of pain and misery worth it, you know? I mean, I really did it to myself. I was the one that fucked up. She might’ve left but I pushed her to it.”

Jughead stares into the darkness at the night sky. He thinks he spots Ursa Major. He’s silent as he watches the stars sparkle against the blackness.

“You’re at a turning point, boy. You have to decide if you want to hold onto this anger and resentment and you have every right to be mad and keep her out of your life forever. But, you can also let that go and forgive her. Can you open yourself up to her again? It’s a risk. You have to decide if it’s worth it.”

FP finishes his cigarette and heads back inside, leaving Jughead to his thoughts.

Is it worth it? He asks himself.

Yes, it is. Their relationship has always been worth the risk. She’s always been worth it.

_**May 26, 2021** _

What they have between them, this delicate string, is tenuous and fragile. 

He feels an urgency to protect it at all costs because he doesn’t know if he can go through the last year again. He can’t lose her again – not when he barely has her back.

He’s lost so much of himself already but every moment next to her, he feels it coming back to him, piece by piece.

She fills the void with her smiles, her laughter, and her kindness. It’s always been this way.

Later that night, after he drops her off at her house, he returns to his empty apartment. The silence is so loud here, echoing off the bare walls. He opens his laptop and starts writing to fill the air. 

His fingers clack against the keyboard. The sound is familiar and soothing. He writes through the night.

_**June 2, 2021** _

_Don’t you know, Jug, I’d give up anything for you? You’re what matters to me._

She picked him. Betty Cooper picks Jughead Jones, not Archie Andrews.

It matters more to him than words can express so he just holds her tighter and hopes that she can understand how much her actions matter.

Because he will always pick her. She will always be first. She will always occupy the entirety of the space within his heart.

_**June 16, 2021** _

James Stewart is on the big screen. This movie is one of his favorites. 

Jughead can’t focus on that though. His attention is on the blonde-haired beauty next to him. She’s so close and all he has to do is move over one inch and he would be touching her. 

He’s enraptured by her. He always has been. Why did he think he could ever stop?

They’re in this bizarre relationship purgatory now and it gnaws at him. He wants to be someone she loves. He wants her to be someone he trusts.

He doesn’t have it quite yet. But, he’s getting there.

_**July 5, 2021** _

Jughead types away at his laptop while sitting on the couch. Betty’s sitting across from him, also working. It’s comfortable. He likes this. It reminds him of all those times they worked in silence together at the Blue and Gold.

He looks up when he hears her squeal. “What? What happened?” There’s genuine concern in his voice.

She laughs out loud and the sound is so refreshing. It’s light and tinkling and he wants her to laugh again. He wants to hear this sound every day.

“I got the internship!” A wide smile breaks out on her face and she just seems so happy. The youthful gleam returns to her eyes. She is so beautiful.

“That’s amazing. Congratulations.”

He’s so proud of her. She throws herself into his arms and he hugs her tightly, breathing in her perfume. Her body melts into his, fitting it perfectly like he was made for her.

He wants to stay like this. When she pulls away a few moments later, his hand twitches at his side, wanting to reach out to her again.

 _ **July 10, 2021**_

**10:04 AM**  
Jughead walks up the steps to the white house with the red door. He’s listening to a murder mystery podcast, not really paying attention to his surroundings.

He takes a step back when he sees Archie in front of him. Archie’s lips are moving but he can’t hear what he’s saying. Jughead pauses the stream and takes out his earbuds. 

“What do you want?”

“You have to stop ignoring me at some point, Jug.”

Jughead eyes the door behind Archie. He thinks about stepping around him but he knows that Archie won’t let him. He’s always been foolishly obstinate.

“No, I don’t think I do,” Jughead says and he’s proud of himself for how calm he sounds. The anger simmers at the surface.

“We have to talk about this. You’re my best friend.”

Silence.

Archie tries again. “I know you probably hate me but I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t think about how much it would hurt you or Ronnie.”

“Are you serious right now?” Jughead hisses. “What kind of half-assed apology is this?”

“What do you want me to say, Jug?” His brown eyes are pleading. “Just tell me what to say and I’ll say it.”

Jughead steps forward to move past him but Archie’s hands are on his chest and he pushes him back. Jughead stumbles and stares at him in disbelief. “Let me pass. I’m not doing this with you.”

“What do you need? Do you need to hit me? Do you need to punch me?” Archie asks as he steps closer, getting into Jughead’s personal space.

Jughead shoves him back. “Don’t pull this shit with me, Andrews. Did you forget that I could end you?” His words are acerbic and he means every word of it.

“Punch me, Jug. I want you to do it. I fucking deserve it.” Archie says, “I deserve it. I kissed your girl. I kissed my best friend’s girl-“

Jughead’s fist is flying through the air before he even really processes what’s happening. He hits him once. Then twice. Then a third time. His knuckles are split open and he can’t really tell if it’s Archie’s blood or his splattered on the grass. Jughead pushes Archie onto the ground and shoves his knee against Archie’s chest. 

“Don’t.” Jughead warns. He takes in a deep breath, letting it fill his lungs. 

Archie is frozen underneath his knee and he seems to have given up the fight. Jughead gets up and takes a step back, watching him carefully. Archie doesn’t say anything as he rights himself back up. He looks back once, his expression sad and defeated, before he returns to the safety of his own house.

Jughead stares at the blood on the grass. The bright red drops gleam against the dark green grass. And, he thinks, he’s tired of it ending like this. He’s not going to let it anymore.

**10:31 AM**

Betty’s quiet as she’s patching him up. Her touches are so gentle and she’s soft against his hands. He watches as she works, always so careful and tender. 

He’s so tired of fighting this. So, he gives in.

Jughead holds onto her wrist even as she sits down next to him, her expression wary, as if she’s not allowing herself to hope. He leans in, his face only a few inches from hers. Up close, he can see the freckles dotted across her cheeks and the golden flecks in her green eyes. 

God, she’s beautiful.

When his lips meet hers, he feels the breath escape from his lungs. She whimpers and he pulls her in, closer to him.

He needs her so much closer.

_**July 14, 2021** _

It’s Wednesday. 

They’re at the Bijou again but this time it’s different from all the previous weeks. His arm is around her shoulders as he guides them to their favorite seats in the theater. 

Betty giggles as he twirls her ponytail through his fingers. She leans in closer. He kisses the top of her head and then reaches for some popcorn. 

She looks up at him, her eyelashes fluttering. He knows what she wants. So, he kisses her soft, plump lips, moaning at the taste of her. She tastes like strawberry milkshakes and sweet, luscious peaches. It surrounds him and he never wants to break away.

They don’t watch the movie much at all.

_**July 31, 2021** _

Pickens Park is beautiful during the summertime. Betty sits on the grass and dusts an invisible piece of lint from her sun dress. It’s yellow.

Jughead is entranced because she doesn’t wear that color often but it goes so well with her pale complexion. She’s glowing like an angel. He watches as she takes a sip of the chilled lemonade, throwing her head back gently as she basks in the sunlight. 

_If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully:_  
_Or if thou think'st I am too quickly won,_  
_I'll frown and be perverse an say thee nay,_  
_So thou wilt woo; but else, not for the world._

Shakespeare in the Park is new to Riverdale this year and he hopes the city will continue it. He wants to make this a new tradition. 

Betty watches the actors move about gracefully on stage, her green eyes absorbing every movement. Her palms are upturned, her posture relaxed. She’s comfortable. The worry lines and dark circles have begun to fade. She must sense him watching her because she turns to him, a small smile on her face.

She reaches out, hesitantly, her hand hanging in mid-air. She takes a deep breath and gently, places her hand in his.

“So, we’re doing this again?” She asks cautiously, her breath catching in her throat.

He intertwines his fingers through hers. “We’re doing this again.”

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quotes are from one of my favorite Romeo & Juliet scenes and belong to the great Shakespeare.


	5. I know that it’s delicate, isn’t it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all, I wrote over 12K+ of angst and apparently, it was not enough. There’s only mild angst here though – the natural part of what comes with long distance relationships. I’ve done long distance before for over a year and we were separated by an entire ocean. So yeah, that sucked. So, this below is drawn from my own personal experiences. 
> 
> This is a long one because I somehow thought it was a good idea to fit a whole year’s worth of storyline into one chapter.
> 
> Comments and kudos are everything and keep me writing!
> 
> Chapter title comes from Taylor Swift's "Delicate".

_But here we are, after all the messes and confessions_  
_To the stars that we never really owned as ours_  
_And if our world comes tumbling down_  
_I could never forgive myself for leaving out_  
_You’re the one, you are the only one_

_“Honeybee” by The Head and the Heart_

**Chapter 5: I know that it’s delicate, isn’t it?**

_**August 1, 2021** _

Betty looks it up. There are 1071 miles between Yale and University of Iowa. It’s the most distance that they’ve ever had between them and the doubt begins to creep into her mind. This is all so delicate. Could they survive this distance when they just started to trust each other again?

She doesn’t want them to break again. She couldn’t bear it.

They have three weeks before she needs to go back to Connecticut and start classes. She doesn’t even know when his academic semester starts. She types it into her web browser.

Two weeks. They have two weeks. It’s not fair.

She sits on her windowsill and looks out the glass. She plans it out in her head. She looks up the different holidays that Yale has and that Iowa has. They could switch off and visit each other. They would Facetime each other every night.

She can’t let them break again.

_**August 9, 2021** _

She knows that she’s being weird and distant. What the hell is she doing? They literally just agreed to get back together, something she’s wanted for over a year now, and she’s doing this. She can’t help herself though. Her emotions are still in a turmoil – a continuous state, it seems. 

Betty Cooper is a planner. She organizes and plans.

She wants something etched down about what they’re going to do a week from now. She needs to know. But, that’s not what Jughead does and she doesn’t know if she can ask him and push him. She doesn’t want to force him into anything that he’s uncomfortable with. But, her mind can’t help but drift to the worst situations.

He wouldn’t cheat. Right?

 _He’s not you, Betty,_ she thinks. Her own mind betrays her and she quickly dispels that thought. No, it doesn’t matter if Jughead is on another planet. No amount of distance would pull him from her. He loves her.

He did. He does?

Does he still love her? He hasn’t said it to her in so long now that she forgets what it sounds like. She so desperately wants to hear the words slip from his lips again. She wants it to wash over her, surrounding her, protecting her. 

She thinks that she should say it first. She could do it now. They’re sitting on the couch. She’s leaning back into his chest and he has his arms wrapped around her. She can feel his steady breath against her neck and it calms her.

She just needs to focus on the sound of his heart. It brings her back from her treacherous thoughts. She pulls his arms even tighter around her and he squeezes her and kisses her hair.

“I love you, Jug.” She can feel his smile against her skin. “I never stopped loving you. I’ve loved you all this time and I’ll love you the rest of my life.”

She pauses when he doesn’t respond. “You don’t have to say it back,” she says because she understands. “I know-“

He stops her. “I love you,” he says quietly and she knows how hard this is for him. He is so strong and she is constantly in awe of him. “It’s always only ever been you, Betts.”

She wonders if he can see her smile. She tilts her head up at him and places the softest kiss against his lips. “We can make this work.”

It’s not a question. It’s a declaration.

_**August 20, 2021** _

He’s leaving today and it fucking hurts. She helps him pack though he really doesn’t have much, just one suitcase worth of things that he deems worthy enough to bring back with him to college. She sits in the backseat of FP’s truck and looks out the window, crazy ideas coming into her head. What if he transfers? What if she transfers?

She couldn’t ask him to do that. And, could she really give up Yale? No, on both accounts.

So, she’s quiet and watches the yellow strips on the highway fade from one to another as the truck whizzes past.

Betty told herself that she wouldn’t cry but it is a fruitless effort. She knew she would. Jughead checks in his luggage and gets his boarding pass. He hugs his dad and says goodbye. She thinks that at least this year, she’s here. She’s here with him at the airport saying goodbye whereas last year, she didn’t get a single goodbye at all. 

When Jughead is done hugging FP, he moves to stand in front of her, his arms falling limply at his side. She knows he’s just as devastated as she is. She launches herself into his body and hugs him with everything she has. She leans up to kiss him and she savors the taste and feel of his lips against hers. She needs to remember this.

He deepens the kiss and brushes her hair back from her face when they start to come down from it. 

“I love you, Betty,” he says, his voice raw with emotion.

“I love you, Jug.”

It’s the truest thing that she feels.

_**September 3, 2021** _

It’s the first Friday since she’s been back at Yale and she’s officially been apart from Jughead for two weeks. It’s hard. It’s so much harder than she thinks it will be. She misses him so much and the pain reminds her of what she felt last year during this time. It’s different this time though – this dull pain is laced with hope and desire for the future.

She didn’t have that before and she does now. 

It’s 9:30 PM and she’s about to head out to a back-to-school party with her roommate. She texts him that she misses him. 

Unread.

She brushes a coat of mascara onto her eyelashes, examines herself in the mirror, nods and walks out the door. She checks her phone about twenty minutes later when she feels it buzzing.

_I miss you too._

Her heart warms and she smiles. Of course, they can make this work.

_**October 1, 2021** _

Betty’s surprised that when she looks up flights to Iowa City, there’s nothing direct from New York. It’s shocking because she thought she’d be able to get anywhere direct from JFK or La Guardia but it’s not the case. 

So, early on Friday morning, she skips class and boards the 7:05 AM train from New Haven to Penn Station. From there, she hops on another train and bus to La Guardia. She gets on the plane to Minneapolis. The flight is less than three hours so she spends most of it reading and making edits to an essay that she needs to turn in next week. When, she finally lands in Minneapolis, she deboards and spends an hour wandering the terminal before she boards her next flight to Cedar Rapids. This second flight is only an hour long so she finishes editing her essay and tucks it back into her purse. 

By the time she lands, it’s almost 8PM and she can’t believe she’s spent over 12 hours traveling from point A to point B. She’s not even there yet. She grabs her suitcase, thankful she didn’t check it in, and deboards the plane. She heads to the rental car booth and when she finally gets in the car, she breathes a sigh of relief. She’s almost there.

The scenery is mostly flat farmland as she drives towards her destination. She taps her fingers to the beat of the radio and her skin buzzes with anticipation. It’s been six weeks since she’s last seen him, held him, breathed him in. 

It’s too long.

When she pulls up to his apartment complex, she’s a bundle of nerves. She hopes he’ll be excited to see her. This is all an elaborate surprise for his birthday and she knows how much he hates celebrating them. She lifts her suitcase up the steps to the 2nd floor and spots the numbered apartment that FP had said.

She’s surprised that as she approaches, she hears bass thumping behind the door. Did FP give her the wrong address? She’s nervous as she knocks.

“Goddammit, Johnny, how many people did you invite-“ Jughead is calling back to someone, she presumes Johnny, in the rear of the apartment before he turns to face her.

She smiles at him. His eyes are wide with shock.

“Betty?”

“Happy birthday,” she says, shyly. 

“Betty,” he breathes out again before he envelops her in a tight hug that squeezes all the air from her lungs.

It took over 12 hours to get to him but it was worth it.

He’s always worth it.

_**October 2, 2021** _

**6:54 AM**  
She’s not sure what time it is but she thinks it’s early. She can see the first rays of sunlight filtering through his blinds and she blinks a few times before she stretches. His arm is slung across her waist and she turns back to him, surprised to see that he’s already awake.

“What is this? Jughead Jones awake before-“ she glances at his alarm clock, “7 AM on a Saturday?”

He nuzzles his nose against her neck. “I want to enjoy every second I have with you. I can’t believe you’re actually here.”

She moves so he’s lying back on the bed and she wraps her body over his so she’s straddling him. She grinds against him and feels him hardening to her touch. “Let’s make this a good birthday.”

“It’s already the best birthday,” he smirks.

 **11:30 AM**  
She’s nervous. Betty’s meeting some of Jughead’s friends for a birthday brunch. It’s a little daunting, meeting all his new friends, especially since she’s positive they all probably have a horrible impression of her.

After all, she’s the ex-girlfriend. She’s the cheater.

They walk into a sunlit French bistro which Betty thinks is unusual because since when does Jughead Jones dine at French bistros? She sees a group of people at a table and they all cheer and clap as Jughead approaches.

“The birthday boy is here!”

They cheer again and the nerves are officially getting to her now. 

Jughead pulls her out from behind him and keeps a firm hold on her as he introduces her. “Everyone, this is my girlfriend, Betty. Betty, this is Johnny, Jane, Liz, and Ian.”

She repeats the names over and over in her head because she needs to make a good impression. Johnny, Jane, Liz and Ian. Johnny, Jane, Liz and Ian. She repeats it like a mantra.

They’re nice. Like really, really, really nice and she wonders if this is a midwestern thing because she’s heard that Midwesterners are nice. They don’t judge her. No one makes snarky comments about the fact that she and Jughead were broken up last year. No one says an unkind word against her.

She’s honestly jealous that they’re not her friends. But, they are, she thinks. If they’re Jughead’s friends then they’re her friends too.

She’s so happy for him. She’s quiet as she nibbles on her English muffin paired with the perfectly poached egg, Canadian bacon and delicious hollandaise sauce. Jughead seems so in his element as he talks with Johnny excitedly about a class that they have together – something to do with the science behind science fiction. His entire being is lit up and he’s smiling more than she’s ever seen.

He’s so happy here. She can’t possibly ask him to transfer. And, she can’t transfer either because she loves it at Yale. She can’t ask him to give this up.

So, she won’t.

They have to forge their own individual paths, she realizes. And, that’s okay because she knows that they’ll be okay. They have to be okay.

_**October 3, 2021** _

Betty’s sobbing into Jughead’s shirt as he holds onto her tightly, kissing her hair. They drive to the airport together and he insists that he can take a bus back to campus. It’s not a hassle at all.

She clutches onto him like he’s everything to her because he is. He is everything to her. And, she hates this. She hates leaving him after barely spending 48 hours here. She hates the distance. She hates that this is only the beginning and she has to endure this for another 2.5 years. 

How is she going to survive this? How can she willingly break her heart over and over again each time she leaves him? 

She sucks in a deep breath through her lungs as she tries to calm herself down. 

“Breathe, baby,” he says soothingly as he rubs comforting circles into her back. 

She calms down immediately. He’s always had this effect on her.

“I’ll see you over Thanksgiving?” she asks quietly.

“Yeah, Betts. It’s only a few weeks from now.”

A few, she thinks derisively. It’s 7 weeks from now.

“I love you, Juggie. I hate that I have to leave,” she says into his chest. She’s still smothering her face into his shirt and she doesn’t care if she’s leaving tear stains all over it.

“I hate it too, baby,” he replies.

_**November 4, 2021** _

It’s called the turkey drop. 

It happens when couples try to do the long-distance thing when they go off to college in September and then when Thanksgiving rolls around, everyone goes home and someone gets dumped. 

She hates this terminology. She’s sitting in the library, trying desperately to console one of her good friends that she met through her roommate last year. But, this poor girl is inconsolable. She’s crying so loudly and Betty’s gaze shifts to the other students studying around them. She shoots apologetic glances their way.

“Nikki, maybe we should go get some coffee or something. You’re obviously not going to be doing much studying right now.”

“I can’t believe that asshole dumped me right before Thanksgiving.” Nikki wails, much louder than Betty would’ve preferred. “He fucking turkey dropped me.”

Betty starts to gather their things, shoving her friend’s notebooks and pens into her tote bag. “Okay, time for coffee.”

Several hours later, Betty returns to the safety of her apartment. She sits down at the kitchen island with her laptop. She flips it open and sees an email from the principal investigator of her criminal psychology lab.

 _Betty,_

_I hope this email finds you well and you’re having a pleasant Thursday evening. One of my colleagues manages the internship program at the FBI office in DC. She asked me for recommendations for candidates for the Summer 2022 program. I think you’d be an excellent applicant and I’d like to recommend you for the role._

_Please see below for more details and kindly let me know if you are interested._

Her eyes widen. An internship with the FBI? She would be one step closer to fulfilling her dream of being a criminal profiler.

She sighs. She and Jughead hadn’t really discussed if they were applying to internships over the summer. If anything, she thought they’d probably go home to Riverdale for the summer so they could spend it together. 

This is an opportunity of a lifetime, however. And, she knows what she would do if she weren’t with Jughead - she’d apply.

So, she should apply, right? This is what’s best for her future and her career. This is what college is about – expanding her horizons and reaching for new opportunities.

She needs to call Jughead.

It’s not that late when she’s dialing, phone pressed up against her ear. 

He picks up on the fourth ring. “Betts?” His voice is so soothing and she’s instantly comforted. “Kinda early for going to bed, don’t you think?”

She smiles and hopes that he can hear it in her voice. “No, I’m not going to sleep yet. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah?”

She settles onto the bar stool and proceeds to tell him about the email she received and the details of the internship. 

“It’s 10 weeks in DC. I know that’s far from Riverdale.”

“So?”

She sighs into the phone. “So, it’s more distance between us.”

“DC is a giant city, Betty. I’m sure there’s plenty of internships I could apply to there. I was actually looking at a few at the Smithsonian anyway.”

She’s surprised. “Wait, really? I don’t want to force you into going somewhere that you don’t want to.”

“If you’re there, Betts, I want to go there.”

“So, romantic summer in DC?”

“The most romantic.”

_**November 22, 2021** _

She has the whole week off for the Thanksgiving holiday. Betty wakes up that morning in Jughead’s arms and she sighs, contentedly. He’s here. They’re home.

It just feels so right.

She snuggles into him more and dreads every passing day, wishing she can slow down the sands of time so they can prolong this moment, be here and present for so much longer than they have.

She doesn’t want to say goodbye to him at the end of the week.

_**December 2, 2021** _

The semester is winding down and finals are quickly approaching. She only has another week of class and then it’s time for tests and final papers. She finds that she’s actually looking forward to it and not because she’s always liked taking tests but because it’s one step closer to Jughead. 

They both have a long winter break – Christmas melting into January – and she’s so excited to have a few uninterrupted weeks with him in Riverdale. 

Her phone buzzes on her desk and she’s surprised to see that it’s Jughead. It’s Thursday at 11 AM. She thought he had class at this time.

She picks it up and he’s breathless on the other end.

“Betts?”

“Hi Juggie. What’s up? I thought you had class.”

“You have a mind like a steel trap, Ms. Cooper. Did you memorize my schedule?”

She giggles. “Maybe. So, what’s up?”

He’s quiet for a few moments, as if debating his next words. And, then he tells her. He applied to a writer’s workshop in Chicago and got accepted. It’s fully funded with room and board. He’ll be gone for the whole time in January and the program starts on January 2nd which means he would need to leave on New Year’s Day.

Betty listens to him patiently. He sounds so excited about this and a part of her is excited for him. But - it comes down to this again. “Why didn’t you tell me you applied?”

He sighs, as if expecting this question. “I didn’t think I’d get in.”

She shakes her head and lets out a bitter scoff. “I can’t keep having this same fight with you, Jughead. You should’ve told me. I told you about the FBI the instant I found out.”

“That’s different. I mean, your lab head was recommending you for it. You were a shoo-in.”

“Jughead, you were a shoo-in for this. I know you don’t believe in your capabilities, but I do. I will always believe in you, Jug.”

He pauses guiltily. “Yeah, I know.” He’s quiet for a few more moments and Betty begins to feel it all slip away – this fantasy that she had that they would get to spend all winter vacation wrapped up in each other, recharging. 

She almost doesn’t hear him when he first says it since she’s so lost in her thoughts. “Come with me.”

“What?”

“Come with me.”

“What? I can’t come with you, Jug, I’m not a writer.”

“It doesn’t matter. I have free room and board. You don’t have to write – you can just be there with me. I mean, you were planning on spending winter break in Riverdale anyway so just spend it with me.”

Betty bites her lip. She takes 10 seconds to deliberate it.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll come.”

_**January 6, 2022** _

Betty thinks that she and Jughead are the only people on earth who would willingly move to Chicago, a city with one of the worst winter weather forecasts, during January. 

Jughead has his own private room though.

It’s small. It’s cramped. The windows fog up during the night because there’s too much body heat in his tiny room and it’s freezing outside. His room is small and basic, fitted with a twin bed, a desk, a closet, and a sink. She and Jughead have to lie practically on top of each other because they don’t fit side by side and his feet hang off the edge of the bed because he’s too tall. But, it’s theirs. And, to her, it’s a wonderful slice of heaven.

She thinks about if they could do this for real – live on their own – this summer, and every summer and winter after that. She thinks about bustling around a busy kitchen preparing Christmas dinner. She thinks about folding laundry with him on a sleepy Sunday afternoon when it’s rainy outside so they decide to stay indoors all day instead of being productive members of society. She thinks about getting up early on Saturdays, way before Jughead does, so she can make blueberry pancakes. She’d make chocolate chip especially for him because he thinks fruit ruins everything. She thinks about adopting two cats – one ginger tabby and one tuxedo. She’d name them Frank and Joe after the Hardy boys. She thinks about drinking chai tea on their balcony while he writes next to her. 

It’s all so vivid in her thoughts and she can picture the rest of their lives together. It’s so close that she can practically taste it. 

She has to hold onto this, she thinks. She can’t ever lose this again.

_**March 14, 2022** _

Betty is scouring apartment advertisements for a place that she and Jughead can sublet for the summer. She got her official letter a few days ago congratulating her on her successful internship application. She knew months ago by word of mouth, however, that she would be accepted. It’s a nice feeling. 

Jughead recently accepted a position at the Smithsonian Magazine so their summer offices will be almost right across the National Mall from one another. They could have lunch together. They could commute to work together. 

She starts imagining what could be – long walks on the mall, strolling through the Hirschhorn gardens, getting lost in the galleries at the National Gallery of Art, taking in the decadence of Whistler’s Peacock Room at the Sackler. 

It’s so surreal and she feels like she’s getting a glimpse into what the future holds. 

_**May 6, 2022** _

This date, two years ago, was one of the worst days of her life which is saying a lot since she literally witnessed her serial killer father get murdered in front of her.

She never wants to repeat that feeling ever again.

When Betty wakes up that morning, she calls Jughead immediately.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” he groans. “What time is it?” She hears him shuffling around. “Betts, you know that I don’t have class on Fridays, right? I was kind of hoping to sleep in past 7 AM.”

She ignores his grumbling. “I love you. I just needed to call and tell you that.”

“I know, Betts. You know this day doesn’t matter anymore, right? We’re back together. It’s all a part of the past.”

“It matters to me, Juggie,” she whispers softly, tears stinging her eyes.

“It shouldn’t. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It will always matter.” She sighs into the phone. “I’m going to spend the rest of our lives making it up to you.”

“Well, I can’t say no to that,” he teases. “What kind of making up are we talking about here? Will we be naked?”

“Have some decency, Juggie!” she scolds though she doesn’t really mean it.

“I think you like me this way, Elizabeth.”

“You’re delusional, Forsythe.” She stares at the calendar hanging on her wall and sighs again. “3 weeks and then I see you again.”

“It’ll fly by so fast, baby. We’ll see each other so soon.”

She knows it’s soon but it’s not soon enough. It’s never soon enough.

_**June 7, 2022** _

It’s early. Way too early.

Betty groans as she hits the alarm clock, stopping its incessant ringing, and pushes the covers off of her body. Jughead stirs and slings his arm across her waist so she can’t move. She giggles and pushes at his arm.

“Juggie, let me go. I have to get up.”

“No, you don’t,” he murmurs as he pulls her closer. He snuggles into her back. 

She lies there for another few seconds before she squeezes his arms and gets out of bed. By the time that he finally wakes up and shuffles into the kitchen, she’s already fully dressed and made up for the day. She hands him a plate of bacon and eggs and he sits at the kitchen island, already scarfing down his food as he says his thanks.

Their studio apartment is small but Betty finds it cozy. It’s garden-level which is just a polite way of saying that they live below ground in the basement. The paint is peeling off the walls and the floorboards creak when she steps on the wrong ones. But, she’s here, sharing it and living with the love of her life.

So, it’s everything she hoped it would be. 

She pours him a cup of coffee and starts to grab her things to head out for the day. 

“So, I’ll meet you at Momofuku at 6:30?”

“Yeah, I’m probably going to head there straight from the office,” he says around a mouthful of eggs and toast. 

“Sounds good. Your lunch is in the fridge. Don’t forget it again today.” She kisses him on the cheek. “Love you, gotta go. Bye.”

And, as she hugs him before heading out, she thinks, she can spend the rest of her life like this. 

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000


	6. All's well that ends well to end up with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready for 3K of fluff? Because that is your reward for sticking with me through the angst!
> 
> My second Bughead fic is officially complete! I can’t thank you all enough for coming on this angst-filled journey with me and I hope it was worth it. You are all amazing – if you’ve enjoyed this, let me know! Comments and kudos are so appreciated.
> 
> Chapter title comes from Taylor Swift's "Lover".

_Nothing is as it has been and I miss your face like hell_  
_Been talking about the way things change_  
_And my family lives in a different state_  
_And if you don’t know what to make of this_  
_Then we will not relate_  
_Rivers and roads until I reach you_

_“Rivers and Roads” by The Head and the Heart_

**Chapter 6: All’s well that ends well to end up with you**

_**September 7, 2021** _

Jughead’s barely two weeks into the semester and his literary theory class is already kicking his butt. It’s all so theoretical, he surmises wryly, which would make sense given the topic. He adjusts his laptop a bit so the camera still has him in focus as he leans back against his desk chair, flipping through his textbook.

“This is the most boring topic I’ve ever studied.” He complains to Betty who is smiling on-screen, sitting on her bed as she looks up from her reading.

“You’re the one that wants to be an English major.”

“Actually, I wanted to be a Creative Writing major but apparently, you can’t do that here without also being an English major.”

“A minor technicality, it seems?” She teases. She’s so beautiful. He expands the window so her face fills up his entire monitor. He touches his screen, pretending that he is actually grazing her cheek gently. 

“I just don’t know how much more memorization I can do. Can you believe I’m getting quizzed on these timelines? Most of them overlap anyway so I don’t understand why this is a thing?” 

He rambles on for another few minutes and she listens patiently. This is what he loves about her. She always listens to his passionate ramblings, even encourages them sometimes, and he never feels judged by her. She accepts him for who he is – a weird, loser loner.

They study in relative silence for another hour. At some point, off-screen, she changes into her pajamas and lets her hair down, getting ready for bed. She moves her laptop to her bed and Jughead watches her longingly as she stretches out against her sheets.

“It’s not fair,” he says as he stares at the screen.

“What’s not fair?” There’s a lilt to her voice and Jughead thinks that she knows exactly what she’s doing. 

“It’s not fair that you look like that and I can’t touch you.”

She sits up on her side and leans forward so her hair cascades down into her face like a blonde waterfall. She never ceases to amaze him with her breathtaking beauty. He finds it hard to breathe as he looks at her. He thinks he could stare at her visage forever.

“I wish you were here, Juggie.”

“I know, Betts.”

They fall asleep together that night like so many other nights. His computer rests on a chair while hers is on her nightstand. They keep the video chat on, pretending that they are right next to one another even though they are separated by miles and state lines.

_**November 21, 2021** _

Jughead taps his foot against the floor repeatedly, looking out the window as his plane descends into the familiar New York snow.

“Are you a nervous flyer?” 

He turns to look at the person sitting next to him, a kind-looking older woman. “No, not nervous. I’m just excited. It’s been a while since I’ve seen my girlfriend and my family.”

She holds a hand to her chest and smiles at him. “Young love.”

“Indeed.”

When the plane finally lands, he deboards impatiently and watches as people move like molasses through the aisle. He’s essentially running through the terminal, only slowing down when he passes Security so he doesn’t look like a lunatic. He bursts through the doors and spots FP and Betty immediately.

She’s wearing a pink fuzzy hat on top of her head and the most ridiculous sky-blue puffy coat. He runs to her and gathers her up in his arms, breathing in her scent.

“Hi,” she says with a laugh as he lifts her up into the air. “Put me down, Juggie!”

“You don’t even understand how much I missed you,” he says into her hair as he places small kisses over her hair and face.

“Hi boy. I am also here in case you forgot.”

Jughead lets Betty go for a moment and leans to give his dad a hug. FP claps his back and grabs his suitcase, pulling it behind him as he starts to walk towards where he’s parked.

Betty immediately melts into Jughead’s side and he holds her close, relishing in the feel of her in his arms. 

_**December 23, 2021** _

“What are your feelings about Scotland?” Jughead’s sitting on the couch with Betty next to him as he scrolls through a few websites on his laptop. 

Betty looks up, confusion coloring her pretty face. “What?”

“What are your feelings about Scotland?” He repeats it.

“Umm, I mean,” she says slowly, “it’s like the land of Harry Potter and the cows are really cute so I’m fine with it. I still don’t understand what you’re asking.”

“I’m thinking of studying abroad next year.”

Her eyes widen and her lips form a perfect O shape. “In Scotland?”

“Yeah,” he replies. “I haven’t applied or anything but Iowa has this program in partnership with the University of Edinburgh. It’s competitive but I think I have a good shot. I might apply.” He shows her his computer screen with the website page pulled up.

She looks through it and he’s wary of her response. Suddenly, a smile breaks out on her face and she nods. “This looks amazing, Juggie. You should definitely apply.” She adds as an afterthought. “Thank you for telling me.”

He’s still not entirely convinced. 

“I know it’s far. It’s even further from Yale than Iowa is.”

“I’ve been thinking of studying abroad too.”

His head shoots up. “Really? Would you want to go to the UK?”

“I was considering a whole bunch of places but there’s a really great forensic psychology program at King’s College in London.” She reveals, a small smile on her face. “Plus, if you’re there, I want to go there.” She echoes the words that he said to her only a month ago.

Betty pulls up google maps and inputs the two addresses. “See, London and Edinburgh are only 400 miles apart.”

He’s instantly convinced. “Romantic semester abroad?”

“The most romantic.”

_**January 2, 2022** _

The new year has officially begun. Jughead wakes up that morning feeling invigorated and also, very, very cold.

Chicago in the winter is no joke. When they say polar freeze and low temperatures, it’s really an understatement. He snuggles into Betty, pretending that he’s actually doing this for warmth when really, he just uses it as an excuse to cuddle closer to her. 

This year will be better than the last. He has her in his arms – it’s already infinitely better for that reason alone.

But, this year will bring so much for them. Growing up in a trailer park on the wrong side of town in the small town of Riverdale has made him appreciate and thankful for each and every opportunity he’s afforded. Before this year, he’d barely traveled out of the state much less out of the country.

This summer, he’ll live in DC with the love of his life, working at a job that he never thought he’d be qualified for, much less actually get. And then at the end of the summer, he’ll move to Edinburgh for a semester. 

He doesn’t know what he did to deserve this but he’s so grateful that he’s experiencing it and with Betty by his side. He feels invincible and on top of the world.

For once in his life, he feels like he has his entire future in front of him, no longer pulled down and drowning in his past. 

It’s going to be a good year.

_**January 10, 2022** _

Jughead trudges through the snow, wind whipping his face. He’s lost all feeling to his nose. He assumes it’s still there but he honestly can’t tell anymore given how cold it is. He shakes off the layer of snow before he enters the dormitory building.

When he finally steps into his room, Betty is sitting on the far corner of the bed, wrapped in blankets. He can see that she’s wearing a warm sweatshirt and she has a fuzzy hat on her head.

“Is that my girlfriend under there?”

“I’m freezing, Juggie. Does that radiator even work?”

He takes his jacket off and almost immediately regrets it when the cold air in the room hits him. He leans down and tinkers with the radiator, turning dials, hoping something will work.

“How was your day?” She asks, moving her pile of blankets closer to the end of the bed so she can get closer to him.

“It was really good,” he says as he turns the dial all the way to the right. He touches the radiator. Well, that did nothing. “The short story I was working on is really coming along and I think after the revisions from the workshop, I might submit it to The Atlantic, maybe try to get it published?”

“Oh my god!” She squeals and claps her hands together, blankets completely forgotten. “That’s amazing.”

“I mean, it probably won’t get published. The Atlantic is one of the most prominent magazines in the country. There’s a very slim possibility.” He turns the dial in the opposite direction and suddenly, the radiator starts to emit a loud banging noise. “I think I fixed it!”

The radiator bangs a few more times before it emits a low hissing sound. “Or it’s going to explode and I’ve effectively killed us both.”

Betty snorts and shakes her head. “Come here!” She says with outstretched arms. “We have to celebrate. This is wonderful news.”

“I’m only submitting it, Betts. It’s not really good news yet.”

“I don’t care,” she says as wraps her arms around him. 

She’s so warm and he moves closer so he can surround himself in her.

“I know I’ll probably end up getting rejected but I’m trying.” 

He means it in so many ways.

_**February 11, 2022** _

When Jughead finally gets to New Haven, he thinks that this time, he really has to try the pizza. The last two times he was here, he didn’t really get to explore, much less do anything touristy. This time, it’s better. It’s under much happier circumstances.

He knocks on the door to the apartment and when it flings open, he’s surprised to see a petite Asian woman standing on the other side. 

“Yes?”

“Uhh, you must be Isabel. I’m Jughead-“

“Jughead, yes, of course! Wow, you are not what I expected.” She smiles and opens the door further to let him in. “I think Betty might be taking a nap. It’s been a rough transition for her this semester.”

Jughead looks at her, concern evident in his eyes. “What do you mean?”

Isabel shrugs, her long black hair falling over shoulders. “I think she just misses you.” She points at a door down the hallway. “That’s Betty’s room. She’s going to be so excited you’re here.” 

Jughead watches her shuffle off into the living room. He steps towards Betty’s door and takes in a deep breath before knocking.

“Iz, it’s open!”

Her voice is so sweet and calming. He opens the door and steps in. In the next instant, he sees a blonde blur and feels a warmth against his chest. He runs his hand through her hair and pulls her closer. 

“Hi Betts.”

“Juggie, you’re here,” she says softly, her voice slightly smothered as she speaks into his chest.

“It was my turn to surprise you.”

_**February 12, 2022** _

**8:51 AM**  
He can’t believe he’s already awake. It’s barely 9 AM. He sits at Betty and Isabel’s kitchen counter, nursing his cup of coffee while Betty moves around the kitchen, happily singing and bouncing around to a song that he doesn’t understand. It’s definitely in a foreign language and he thinks it might be French.

Betty turns around and hands Jughead a stack of pancakes. He’s immediately in a better mood as he pours what seems like a pint of syrup over them.

“Since when do you listen to French music?”

Betty smirks. “Izzy is a French major.” 

Isabel nods and waves her approval from the living room before bending back down to finish her yoga workout. “Great song selection, boo.”

“You guys are way too functional for this early on a Saturday.” Jughead comments before stuffing a forkful of pancake in his mouth.

Betty smiles before singing along. “Elle me dit, tu es toujours un enfant.”

“Did you just insult me in French?”

She shakes her head innocently, eyes wide. “I’m just singing along.”

He snorts before he moves off the stool and proceeds to chase Betty around the kitchen island before she finally lets him catch her. He tickles her and blows a raspberry against her neck. “Tell me what you said.”

“Pourquoi tu gâches ta vie? Elle me dit danse,” she sings along, ignoring him. She twirls away from him and he reaches forward, catching the hem of her skirt in his fingers. He pulls her back towards him and holds her close before kissing her on her head. 

**10:07 AM**  
He’s never been in a library quite like this before. There are books stacked in neat rows from floor to ceiling, protected behind tempered glass. The books literally tower over him and he takes in a deep breath, feeling slightly overwhelmed.

“This is your library?”

“It’s one of the libraries,” Betty answers. “I don’t really use this one since I don’t need primary source material for my studies but I figured you would love it here.”

“Can I live here?” Jughead asks as he steps further into the space, completely enraptured with the ambiance.

“Do you love it?”

“Betty, this is incredible.” He steps forward, closer to the glass. He can feel her staring at him, a smile on her face. 

**12:33 PM**  
His first thought is that it’s more garlicky than he would have expected. He takes another bite of the pizza and chews thoughtfully.

“Well?” Betty stares at him expectantly.

“It’s good,” he says after taking another bite. “I don’t know about world famous though.”

She rolls her eyes. “Well, you’re the one that wanted to get a large so I hope you plan to eat all of this.” She points at the 18-inch pizza in front of them.

“You wound me. You know this is nothing.” He’s nearly done with one slice and grabs another.

“You really never cease to amaze me, Jug.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

_**May 6, 2022** _

Jughead lies on his bed, listening to the soothing sound of Betty’s voice. She received her internship welcome packet last week and had been poring over every pamphlet and detail. He glances at his alarm clock. They’ve been talking for about an hour now but it only feels like a few minutes have passed. He thinks he can listen to her talk forever.

He yawns and rubs his face against the pillow, blinking several times before sitting up in his bed.

“Betts?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“You weren’t listening to a word I was saying, were you?” She asks, though her tone is teasing and not at all accusatory.

“You’re not going to say it back?” 

He hears her snort over the phone before she pauses for dramatic effect. “I love you, Jughead Jones.”

**_July 4, 2022_ **

Jughead watches Betty and Kevin, who are arm-in-arm giggling furiously about something, in front of him and he thinks that he is definitely the topic of whatever conversation they’re having.

He and Fangs are much more subdued, walking side-by-side towards the fireworks show. They talk about Fangs’ time in Pittsburgh. He’s studying mechanical engineering which is a difficult major but Fangs seems to be enjoying the challenge.

There’s a natural lull in the conversation.

“I’m glad you guys worked things out,” Fangs says with a small smile.

Jughead looks at his friend and then back at Betty and Kevin who are still giggling about something. “I am too.”

**_July 5, 2022_ **

Jugheads bursts into the apartment in a flurry. Betty is already home, cooking dinner. He can hear the music playing softly in the background as she moves gracefully around the kitchen.

“Hey you. How was your day?” She asks while chopping an eggplant into cubes.

“They want to publish my story.”

“What?” She puts down the knife and turns around. He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her in. 

“They want to publish my story,” he says again.

“Congratulations!” She’s jumping up and down and hugging him and he lets out a laugh, finally letting the reality hitting him.

He’s going to be a published author. This has been a dream of his ever since he started writing when he was 12. 

It’s all finally happening. 

_**August 19, 2022** _

Jughead manages to pack all his worldly possessions into two suitcases. Both his and Betty’s internships ended about two weeks ago so they were back in Riverdale, trying to soak up the last bits of summer before they had to depart for their next adventure together.

Alice is fussing and buzzing to and from in Betty’s bedroom and he can tell as he approaches that his lovely girlfriend is close to losing her temper. He knocks on the door and Betty's face is relieved, clearly welcoming the interruption.

“Alice, do you have an adapter I could borrow?”

“Oh!” Alice exclaims before she drops the piece of clothing she was folding back onto Betty’s bed. She shuffles out of the room. “I know I have one somewhere.”

“Didn’t you just buy a 4-pack of adapters off Amazon?” Betty asks with a raised eyebrow.

“You looked like you needed saving.” 

She walks up to him and wraps her arms around his neck. “My knight in shining armor.”

He kisses her softly before he looks around her room. “Did your closet explode?”

She huffs and pushes him away. “I don’t know how you’re already packed and I’m not. How am I expected to fit four months worth of things into two tiny suitcases?”

“They do have stores over there, you know.”

She narrows her eyes at him before throwing a pillow in his general direction. “Are you going to help me pack or are you just going to sit there and heckle me?”

He leans back against her headboard, crossing his arms behind his head. “I think I’m going to go with the heckling.”

“Why do I love you?” She mutters before she holds up two pairs of rain boots. “Do you think I should bring both?”

_**October 2, 2022** _

It’s his birthday weekend and he’s spending it in Edinburgh with the love of his life. His flat is small and on the Cowgate, a street that is literally beneath the other streets in the city. He lives right next to a rowdy pub that caters to university students so it’s loud and smells like beer all the time. He’s pretty sure his building is haunted but he doesn’t care. He still loves it.

Jughead insists on going on a ghost tour for his birthday, something the city is famous for, and Betty is absolutely convinced that something scratched her back as they walk through the underground vaults. It’s an entire world that’s buried in the past and he loves every morbid fact that the tour guide shares. 

He pulls her in closer as they walk into a vault that is apparently haunted by the ghost of a friendly cobbler. The tour guide encourages everyone to show their shoes to the cobbler, who supposedly inhabits a corner of the vault.

Betty shakes her head. “I swear to god if this ghost steals my shoes-“

He laughs and kisses her cheek. “I’ll protect you and your shoes from the ghosts, Betts.”

She grumbles something unintelligible as they move onto the next vault. 

Later, they stand in the corner of a chip shop, feasting on their respective fried goods. Betty daintily chews on a fry while Jughead is practically shoveling food into his mouth. He looks at her. Her green eyes are so prominent, illuminated by the lamplight, and he thinks he’s never seen anyone more beautiful or wonderful. He wants to spend the rest of his life surrounded by her beauty. 

He was wrong before. This is the best birthday he’s ever had. 

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Betty sings is 'Elle me dit' by MIKA - a favorite.
> 
>  _Elle me dit, tu es toujours un enfant_ \- She tells me, you're still a child
> 
>  _Pourquoi tu gâches ta vie? Elle me dit danse_ \- Why are you wasting your life? She tells me dance.


End file.
